| | "Don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients and you won't be the last."
But invariably the other voice would bring him back to reality...
"You're a veterinarian."
Author:Unknown |
| "Doctor, doctor, my Little boy's swallowed a bullet. What shall I do?
Well, for a start, don't Point him at me." Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I've lost my memory.
When did it happen?
When did what happen? " Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain.
Why's that?
My wife keeps hitting me Over the head with it." Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, my hair's coming out. Can you give me something to keep it in?
Certainly - how about a paper bag?" Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, People keep ignoring me.
Next, please!" Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together!" Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
What's come over you?
Two cars and a bus!" Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a spoon.
Sit there and don't stir." Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Get back in the queue." Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards.
I'll Deal with you later." Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there's two of me.
One at a time, please." Author:Unknown
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog.
Lie Down on the couch and I'll examine you.
I can't. I'm not allowed on the furniture." Author:Unknown |
| It was a stifling hot Day and a Man fainted in the middle of a Busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions while a woman rushed to Help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid." The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's Pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.
At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."
Author:Unknown |
| Five doctors went Duck Hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physician, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated.
"I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician Drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have rabies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature Made good its escape.
Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity.
"Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.
Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.
"Go see if that was a duck, will you?"
Author: Unknown |
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